There are so many people that have opinions on what a bride should wear, size of wedding, shower or no shower. But I say, Abide by Second Wedding Etiquette; Says Who?
A Second Wedding is something I know about first hand. When my husband proposed to me in 2011, I was so excited and knew I wanted to plan it the same way any newly engaged woman would. Just because it was a second wedding for both of us, it didn’t make it any less special. It may be a second wedding for just one of you so it’s important that the two of you come together as a couple and decide how simple or lavish you want your wedding to be.
Focus on You
Your wedding should be all about you, your fiance and if you have children, incorporating your blended family. It may be the second time you are getting married but I see it as a first time, since it’s a new and different relationship. Unless, of course, you are marrying the same person for a second time…haha! All this to say, You Do You!
Do You Need A Theme?
Themes are really not necessary. However, if there’s a color scheme you like or a season, then that’s what you can plan your wedding around. It can get a little overwhelming trying to find fresh new ideas that make your wedding seem different than your first one. But if you’re still drawn to the same look and feel, colors, season then do what makes you happy. Bottom line is no matter what you do it is going to feel different because the two of you are different. The only thing I would advise you is to stay away from selecting the same date and venue as your first wedding.
I happen to love Red & Black so we went with that as our theme colors. It looks so romantic and glamorous.
The good thing about second weddings is that you are probably much more mature this time around and you and your fiance are probably footing the bill. I say that releases you from the obligation parents usually put on first-time couples to invite everybody and their mother; 4th cousins, parents’ co-workers and people you’ve never met.
As a couple decide who you really want to share this special day with. Your budget and venue size may dictate the number of guests anyway so make sure the friends and family members who have supported your relationship are at the top of the list.
What to Wear
Whatever makes you comfortable and is within your price range. If you want the big, white beautiful ball gown, a simple short dress or a pant suit, then do it. Veil or no veil, that is up to you. There really aren’t any rules; there are just suggestions that have been made up and passed down over the years. Again I say, Abide by Second Wedding Etiquette; Says Who? Make sure you are making the decision on what to wear because it makes you comfortable and happy, not because you think people will whisper or comment on your choices.
David’s Bridal was a great choice for me. I didn’t want to spend a fortune on it but still wanted to have the bridal experience and it was perfect! My gown was ivory lace and I wore a black sash and red shoes…scandalous..haha!!
If celebrities can continue to have their lavish “Elizabeth Taylor” moments, then why can’t you?
Trivia: Elizabeth Taylor had 8 marriages with 7 husbands (married the same guy 2x)
To Shower or Not to Shower
Some people have mixed feelings about this because Bridal Showers are typically associated with helping the newlyweds get established with the essentials for their new home. So if this is a second marriage, you may not be needing a second toaster or china. However, you can definitely still have a Bridal Shower just do it differently. The point is you will have new in-laws and possibly new friends you didn’t know during your first wedding who will be excited to celebrate with you, so why not.
You can still do a registry as well as that really helps people give you what you truly need. If you’re uncomfortable with a registry, select a favorite charity you both love and guests can make a donation on your behalf. It’s not always about the gifts, although they’re nice, but about bringing together a blend of the new family and friends with your established family and friends to celebrate a new beginning.
There is no reason why you shouldn’t have a wedding party or that your Dad walks you down the aisle. It’s even OK to have the same Maid of Honor or Best Man as your first wedding. If they are still in your life and just as special, then they should have the role. When children are involved, this is also a great way to incorporate them and show unity as a blended family. If your children are a little older and still living at home, I would make sure to have the conversation with them to see how they would like to participate. Chances are they are just as excited as you and would love to.
We’re blessed to each have a son and daughter who wanted to be part of our big day. So with 4 adults we had the perfect wedding party.
It’s Your Day
Bottom line is there are no rules when it comes to love and family. You are joining two people that come with their own individual customs and traditions. The important thing is to decide together how your dream day will be. This is about both of you and your new beginning. So the heck with the naysayers and the rule followers who want you to Abide by Second Wedding Etiquette; Says Who?
As always, Love What You Do and Do What You Love. Would love to hear your comments on second weddings below or any questions you may have.